A guide to our friendship group

I've been thinking over the last few days, what with all these leaving events making me feel sad, how well and how much everyone knows each other in our friendship group, and so what it will be like when we're all spread over the country and then the world.

And, out of boredom at work, I have compiled a list of things that we all just naturally understand about each other that any outsider may be confused with.


If Chloe stares at you for a long period of time, ignore it but perhaps wave a hand in front of her face if you want anything you say to be heard.

If Josh looks less than happy when recieving a birthday present from you, it is not personal.


Anything Dobson tells you that seems slightly unbelievable should be treated with suspicion (this particularly applies if he has been drinking or your name is Kitty).



Charlotte will often burst out into song at random intervals, and more often than not these songs will be from High School Musical. If she begins to cry at points when everyone else is laughing, you know that the joke probably involved some mention of something sexual or politically incorrect that on some basic level Charlotte found funny, but knows she really shouldn't have.


Kitty, knives (or spoons for that matter) and Josh should not be within a 10 metre radius of each other at any one point.

Claire can eat as many biscuits as you put in front of her and will always be up for ASDA cookie trips.

Byatt will always insist that he can walk at 4 times the speed that is physically possible.

Katharine + Daddy-Long-Legs is not a good combination.

Makaela's grey bag never has been, and never will be, in once piece.

Any phone conversation with Tom in which you manage to get him to say a word that has more than 1 syllable is a great success.

Sasha is Louise's scooter and should be treated with respect.

Katharine is lost to the world as soon as Strictly Come Dancing is on TV, and no social event should be planned that overlaps with neighbours-o-clock.

If all the girls suddenly say something excitedly at once in high pitched voices, it is probably a line from FRIENDS.

And finally, Will is of course unquestionably masculine, and his relationship with Dave is nothing but heterosexual.